What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 16.06.2025 09:33
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
What is your age now, and what age do you prefer to stay at forever?
I was very sick at this time too.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Why do men like low maintenance women?
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I said to her
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Does meth make women super horny like it does men?
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
She wouldn,t have been !
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
She was in good health!
Why don't we hear our own snoring?
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
I could never make a relationship work though!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
When she asked me how she looked .
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
What topics are okay with you in comics and what topics should be totally off the table?
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
What did i know ?
I waited trembling.
What are the popular niches to talk about as a content creator on the social media platform?
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
So, i spoilt her more .
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
What’s the best way to get over someone you love?
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Nationals Place Andrew Chafin On 15-Day Injured List - MLB Trade Rumors
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
My life is so biszare .
She married twice! .
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
(And it was in our own minds.)
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Especially a lifetime of it.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Comes on , in middle age.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
He resisted the act ,that day.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Put me off passion for life!!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
She found it foreign!.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
We all went to grammer schools
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Why did i forgive my father ?
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
They are buried together, in the same grave..
My family never makes their pension either.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
She loved him until the end.
As i do to all so called friends.?
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I was 9 years of age.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
We were not on the streets..
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Im still living with it.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Was to survive, this bastard.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I think the readers, may guess!
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I write beautiful poetry .
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
But it wasn’t much.
I will be 64.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I have no regrets .
This is soul school!.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Would this be the day?
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
But ive been too sick for many years..
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
I couldn’t, believe it.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
One cannot live in the past .
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
I never cut or harmed myself..
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I don,t even have a pension.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I did it because my mum asked me too!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
It was going to be , some day.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
I was seconnd youngest,
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
All the time i was locked up.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Who then, do I blame.?
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
So whats the point in blame.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
But, we were locked up after school.
And i lived it daily.
Ive learnt so much.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
I was scared of men, in general
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
He knew the spot.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.